Dear Moms Everywhere,
From the time you realized you were carrying life inside of you, your whole life changed; you became a mom. You went through 9 months of mood swings, nausea, and maternal joy before you were finally able to hold your little bundle of joy in your arms. Little hands, little feet, little nose…you were in awe of this little person and a sense of accomplishment, pride, and joy washed over you.
Fast forward a few years and now you have a little mini-me following you everywhere you go, watching you, trying to be you. She notices the way you put your hair up and loves watching how you put your makeup on. She wants to be beautiful like you and grow up to be you. You are your daughter’s first rolemodel and with that honor comes a load of responsibilities.
Remember that your daughter will only be as kind as the kindness that is shown at home.
Teach your daughter how to dress beautifully and classy. Provocative clothing sends a message that I’m sure you don’t want your daughter giving so lead with actions, not empty words.
“People only accept the love they think they deserve” is an amazing quote that is dead on. Love your daughter unconditionally and fiercely and show her that she shouldn’t settle for any type of love that is less than that.
Time is short. Treasure each moment with her, emphasizing that life is a gift and should be treated as so.
Go on adventures. Have fun. Be daring. Show her that the best part of life is sometimes going on a drive without a roadmap.
Let her know that making mistakes is a normal part of life. There are lessons to be learned in life and most of the good ones don’t happen in a comfortable classroom but out face to face with the world.
Show her that an independent woman won’t wait for someone to come around and push her to do what needs to be done. She can do things on her own but also show her that when things get hard it’s not a form of weakness to ask for help.
Love her the way she feels loved; not the way you want her to accept love.
Teach her to laugh at herself.
Be silly with her.
Encourage her to try things she’s never done before. Praise her when she succeeds in a goal. Don’t make her feel incompetent or uncomfortable to ask questions or fail.
Remember to have just you and her time. No husband, no siblings…just you, her, and your undivided attention. It’s amazing how much she’ll talk when there isn’t a wall of distraction separating you.
When she’s down and out with the blues and the source of it seems completely pointless to you, remember it means the world to her. She hasn’t fully experienced life, yet; this is the life she knows and whether it’s the loss of a boyfriend, a misplaced cell phone, or a C in English treat it as if it were the most important thing in the world but teach her that things are things and people come and people go so look for those lessons.
Care about where she’s going and who it’s with. Too many parents try to be the cool parents or their friends but that is not why you gave birth to them. They have enough friends. What they need is you being a parent so get involved in their life and learn when to say yes and when to say no.
Teach your daughter about hygiene. There is nothing more exhausting than trying to learn it all yourself and google isn’t as intimate as the voice of a mother. Take the time to show her how to use makeup, how to take care of her skin, and how to treat her body like a temple.
Most importantly make it clear that no matter who she becomes, who she loves, what she does with her life or what she doesn’t do, you will always love her. You will always be there for her with a kiss on the forehead and arms open to take her in.
The thing is that from your arms, to your apron strings, to your bedroom screaming she hates you, to her moving out and experiencing life, to her finally understanding why you did the things you did, she will always be your baby girl.
Life is short so make the most of it. Love her. Speak to her. No matter how far away she is make sure you are closer.
Whether she knows it or not, she needs you and she looks up to you more than she even knows.