This week I have assumed and assumptions this week late have been bad choices. BAD choices. It doesn’t help that I’m not so much a slow learner, but a forgetful one, so not only did I make a wrong assumption but I’ve made that wrong assumption twice.
This is the story:
At the gym I work at we provide child care so day in and day out I see these cute little kids toddling after mothers or fathers staring at what they can see of the gym with wide eyed wonder. I also get to see babies. Lots and lots of super cute babies. Wearing headbands and outfits that indicate very obviously what the gender of the baby is because sometimes you really can’t tell when they’re that little.
Yeah, well a new mom came in with her one month old baby and “it” was wearing blue. Now there were no headbands, no girly patterns on the clothing, no sparkles and no frills. The outfit was downright masculine (well, as masculine as baby clothes can get) so I felt comfortable enough to comment on what a cute baby he was.
“He is a she,” she huffed at me.
I had never been more mortified. Granted I’ve done this before but it was years ago in Starbucks to a complete stranger that I would only see only one time in my life hopefully. This is someone who frequents my work place thus someone I have to see day in and day out. Go me.
Anyone after that would be super cautious by using terms like “Oh you’re so cute aren’t you?” and then cleverly asking how old they were which would give whichever parent a chance to answer “HE” (or “SHE”) is blah blah blah”.
This conversation you would walk away from feeling like a champ. No awkward moments, no nothing.
Well, I had the opportunity to perform the example of a clever conversation but instead I pulled off the horror story off…again. This time it was a dad. And he was good natured about it but I basically just called his daughter a dude. I don’t think that fact has clearly sunk in for him yet.
The thing is, I’m sorry but on the drive home from work I realized I shouldn’t be that sorry. I mean, if they’re going to dress their daughters in plain green & blue colored clothing that is not at all girly looking or have sequins in sight, how is the general public supposed to know? Just like parents who dress their sons in yellow that has a duck on it. Sorry Starbucks Lady…it was very misleading!
So parents, next time a poor soul like myself makes the blunder of your child’s gender, take into account how your child may appear to the people around you who don’t know your personal life. If you daughter is wearing blue but not sporting girly shoes or a flowery headband, she looks like a dude. If your son is wearing a color that girls are more prone to wear, well, you get the gist.